If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
