im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
