Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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