After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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