That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
