Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Randomize
