yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
