hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
