Me too!
Did you just see the Batmobile???
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
