I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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