She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize