These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I party with great urgency now.
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