"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
