garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
that may or may not have been my penis.
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