between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
