theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
