Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
