So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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