Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
