woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize