so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
the liver wants what the liver wants
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
