Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
