Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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