absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
