Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
