We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
