are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Randomize
