just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize