They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
i believe in u and ur pee
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
