is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
