I heard we made out
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
