I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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