we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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