I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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