Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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