he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
