your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
