no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just forgot I was standing up.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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