This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
