garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
