So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
