I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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