ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize