You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
