Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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