Will you blow on my dice?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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