let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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