Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
