you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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