wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
