She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
