WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
