what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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