my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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