I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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