what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize